A single-family home recently listed in Palo Alto tickled the internet when its listing agent noted the house has a proclivity for producing Ivy League graduates.
The San Francisco Bay Area is iconic for its memeability. Silicon Valley investors, gaggles of tech bros, out-of-touch one percenters (who demand their nannies have at least four-year college educations, preferably in psychology fields), and the overt startup culture have led to head scratching behaviours that could only happen there.
In the age of social media, no longer are those shenanigans reserved only to those who glimpsed them briefly IRL or scrolled past them on dial-up connections. We’ve all got lil’ computers in our front pockets now … capable of screenshotting said antics on a dime.
Joining the S Tier of memabel actions in recent behaviors was when the listing agent of a Palo Alto home decided it’d be fitting to mention that every owner’s children have gone onto Ivy League schools, more specifically Harvard or Stanford.
But only after its 2017 renovation: “Since its 2017 rebuild, every owner’s children have gone on to Harvard or Stanford.”
The house, itself, is a gorgeous example of suburban upscale living. Originally built in 1985, the five-bedroom, four-bathroom house is priced at $4.89 million; as eye-watering as that may sound, given its layout, lot size, and luxury touches, the home is “affordably” and adequately priced for the area.
One can easily — effortless in the sense of daydreaming — imagine themselves opening the expansive double-wide French doors, each panel lacquered in an age muted black, and walking up to their Rivian off-roading vehicle to drive three miles to an elevated office space on University Avenue. Mornings would be spent blending antioxidant-rich smoothies, ala Goop, atop the 11-foot-long kitchen island, amalgamated concoctions that could go cup-to-cup against Erwon. Afternoons see sunlight flood the entire home, refracting off standing desks and stainless steel appliances. Evenings wash over you (and your I’ve league imbued kin) in front of a 75” Samsung Frame TV mounted above the fireplace.
Since the ad went live 5 days ago, listed by the Wen Guo RE Group, it’s received over 34,000 views on Zillow, alone; the ad was also published on other popular real estate listing sites like Redfin. Alas, its viral property description has since been changed, as those on Instagram and Threads have noted; we’d wager that the attention wasn’t one that correlated to much actual interest.
However, as of publishing, the 3717 Cortega Court home, which is nestled in a cul-de-sac of similarly specced homes, has a pending sale.
“Now, it is ready to pass on its extraordinary energy to the next family,” read a line from the original description for the house before it was heavily edited. We wish that scholastic excellence halos those who will call this place home. Just for the love of God, may they not pull up in a Tesla.
Feature image: Courtesy of MLS
