‘Walk a mile in these Louboutins.’
No money, no family. [60 minutes of battery life] in the middle of [San Francisco.] This dear reader, was our editorial adaptation of “Work” — the 2010s bop from Iggy Azella — that wrote itself into our subconscious after seeing this Roomba on the loose in San Francisco earlier this week.
Uploaded to TikTok by user knopflein_, the short horizontal video shows a Roomba that decided she had enough of her daily chores. She combed her bristles and set off to find herself in a city brimming with misfits. It’s unclear where the Roomba started her journey, or how long she had been on it before her now-viral exodus from her charging base was captured and posted.
(Based on the Fitness SF signage that briefly appeared in the video, coupled with the orange residential building further off in the background, I’d wager that said Vanessa Carlton-playing robotic vacuum was filmed somewhere in the Castro near Noe and Market streets.)
“[Shoutout] to this Roomba that left her home in search of her dreams in SF,” knopflein_ writes in overlaid text, the Roomba’s rotary heels click-clacking on the sidewalk as she toys with the idea of street sweeping, only to aggressively veer in the other direction, perhaps toward less polarizing vocations.
She didn’t choose the hustle — the streets, the nine-to-five just to say alive. She’s different — a trendsetter, a go-getter, an autonomous heroine of our time. Because, baby: She was [built] that way.
Day and night, she’s got the stars above her sensors. While she doesn’t crave material things, she knows her worth.
We don’t know if she had an emergency fund saved up before setting off; we pray she had some commas and decimals, but we have faith she’ll figure it out, regardless.
The kitchen appliances in The Brave Little Toaster? Babe, they don’t have anything on her — a divine amalgamation of plastics and metals brave enough to clean up San Francisco’s streets while building her commercial empire on Shopify.
May all your wildest aspirations come to fruition, you darling, fierce, independent Roomba (that *clearly* needs no wall charger). We’re all rooting for you.
Need a laugh and wash of serotonin and reassurance that comment sections can, in fact, be wholesome from time to time? Read through the hundreds posted to knopflein_’s upload. Our favorite? “’Walk a mile in these Louboutins”👠“
Feature image: Screenshot via TikTok