Queerness Archives

On Facing Unrequited Queer Love in Your 30s

12Oct

By Matt CharnockNo Comments

On Facing Unrequited Queer Love in Your 30s

When the feelings aren't shared, how do we choose to deal with the experience? By not repeating past mistakes. Most recently, I believe a hallmark of maturity for us queer thirty-somethings is in how we navigate unrequited love where a real bond was forged. Why? Because it involves touching base with abandonment — rejection, the feeling of being less-than and unworthy of human companionship. To be queer in a heteronormative world is to simultaneously be other than; by default, this pushes you out of the collective norm that’s quite “easy” to assimilate amongst. I know no queer person who has not felt woefully alienated at some point in their lives. This means — in the same breath — that I’ve not met a queer person who didn’t harbor the trauma of life-altering rejection. And, I...

Juanita MORE!’s After-Party for ‘Juanita: 30 Years of MORE’ Was Filled With Happenstance Reunions

5Oct

By Matt CharnockNo Comments

Culture + Travel, Queerness

Juanita MORE!’s After-Party for ‘Juanita: 30 Years of MORE’ Was Filled With Happenstance Reunions

‘Juanita: 30 Years of MORE!’ celebrates Juanita MORE!’s decades-long influence — a sentiment that extended to the exhibit's official after party, as well. This past Friday in San Francisco belonged to Jaunita MORE!. After weeks of grueling work and a level of dedication that went unbent, the beloved SF-based drag queen and serial philanthropist debuted her exhibit at the San Francisco Arts Commission (SFAC), Juanita: 30 Years of MORE — a gallery-spanning homage to her three decades being the prettiest queen in San Francisco. It was a debut rich with collaborative tonalities. Hundreds attended the opening reception that included remarks from MORE!, herself. People thronged the intimate exhibit space, ogling over pieces of art, framed pictures, and embellished regalia — many of the galle...

On Love, Queerness, and Transphobia While Vacationing in Rome

30Sep

By Sean AngNo Comments

Essays, Queerness

On Love, Queerness, and Transphobia While Vacationing in Rome

My partner Anthony is unapologetically trans. They're always quietly — yet firmly, hold space in a room, unwavering and generally unbothered by the risk that comes from existing as a trans individual. That risk is sometimes as simple as wearing a dress or skirt on a body people like to quickly gender a certain way. One of the worst fears you can have as a partner is when harm comes your loved one’s way — are you going to be able to protect them at that moment? As the weeks turned into days before our trip to Italy, I got very nervous. Anthony is not the kind of *diva* to go undercover or hide. The reactions and possibly actions of Romans as they come face to face with the beauty of Anthony were a worry of mine, especially considering the environment we live our lives in. San ...

The Danger of SF Supervisor Aaron Peskin’s Anti-Trans Language

29Sep

By Matt Charnock1 Comment

Editors' Picks, Feature Pieces, Queerness

The Danger of SF Supervisor Aaron Peskin’s Anti-Trans Language

Dehumanization begins with the smallest instances of maligned word choice. It’s quite a feat of mental gymnastics to comprehend how far we’ve come as a country in queer representation and gay rights over the past decade. Gay marriage is now law of the land— though it is now precariously positioned on the Supreme Court's cutting board. We’ve seen hundreds of members of the LGBTQIA+ community come out as their authentic selves in various sports leagues and branches of local, state, and national government. The FDA approved Truvada, which became the first HIV PrEP drug to come on the consumer drug market. The transgender military ban was repealed; “they” became a word of the year. All of the above represent incredible accomplishments that have been decades in the making. However, this isn...

5 Sad Girl Autumn Things to Do Around San Francisco

23Sep

By Matt CharnockNo Comments

Feature Pieces, Queerness

5 Sad Girl Autumn Things to Do Around San Francisco

San Francisco is full of places to let out a good cry or just sit in your feelings. It’s officially here: Sad Girl Autumn. Yesterday, September 22nd, was the first official day of fall, at least here in the United States. (Fall, in fact, doesn’t come to much of the Southern Hemisphere until March, while the month of September is when the Northern Hemisphere enters the foliage-filled month.) It’s that sacred time of the year where everything is pumpkin spice. Somewhat thicker than usual layers of clothing are worn around the Bay Area. Taylor Swift’s Red album again enters into the cultural zeitgeist. Of course, now’s the time of the year when we get into our feelings. Call it "Sad Girl Autumn" — the antithesis to "Hot Girl Summer." Fortunately for us in SF, there’s a plethora ...

San Francisco’s Prettiest Drag Queen Is Getting an Exhibit Dedicated to Their Life’s Work

15Sep

By Matt CharnockNo Comments

Culture + Travel, Queerness

San Francisco’s Prettiest Drag Queen Is Getting an Exhibit Dedicated to Their Life’s Work

'Juanita: 30 Years of MORE!' celebrates Juanita MORE!’s decades-long influence... which shows no signs of dimming. You can’t utter “San Francisco drag” without either a direct or indirect nod to Juanita MORE!. She’s both the zenith and epitome of queer culture in San Francisco — forever charitable, endlessly creative, and disarmingly captivating — simultaneously. I’ve had the pleasure of sharing countless meals in the presence of MORE! over the years. When she plunged into the details around Juanita: 30 Years of MORE! — a fiscally sponsored exhibit from the San Francisco Arts Commission (SFAC), curated to honor her impact and unmatched legacy that reaches well beyond SF — over duck noodle soup one evening, I was as thrilled for her as I was for those who’ve ever wanted to see the art t...

I Simply Can’t Unsee This Hella Creepy BART Train Replica

12Sep

By Matt Charnock1 Comment

Culture + Travel, Editors' Picks, Queerness

I Simply Can’t Unsee This Hella Creepy BART Train Replica

I’ve tried to wash its deformed human-like face from my memory… to no avail. Like any good hyperlocal Twitter Gay, I keep up with all things Bay Area Public Transit Twitter. (To those asking: Yes, these are, in fact, things — and these online communities complement one another exceptionally well.) This past weekend, it was BART’s 50th birthday, which was punctuated by a birthday bash at its Lake Merritt Station. Thousands of people showed up. There was a themed cake. Children played tactile games. A piece of the BART’s rail system was up on display (for curious passersby to touch); a crowd sat underneath a marquee tent and sang “Happy Birthday” to the rapid transit agency that's made up of 120 miles of train track. It was a glorious event to live vicariously by way of thumbing throu...

How I Found Love and Acceptance in a Three-Way

1Sep

By anthonysrogers1 Comment

Editors' Picks, Essays, Queerness

How I Found Love and Acceptance in a Three-Way

A story on queer polyamory in San Francisco I had a star-studded, rose-colored view of my first queer relationship: We bump into each other at a bookstore — maybe a coffee shop — with mutual friends. We exchange glances, jokes, and eventually numbers, which then leads to getting to know each other. Seems picturesque, no? Listen, it’s 2022 and that’s not how meeting people works anymore, it’s not an over-produced Netflix movie starring Vanessa Hudgens. Instead, I met my first-ever partner on Hinge. This first-ever partner was also deeply polyamorous, and I was competing for position number three. It seems odd to type this in retrospect — but it seemed so right. My first relationship definitely didn’t meet the markers for what I had dreamt up in my head. No roses at the door ...

Meet the San Francisco-Based Muralist Behind _SF’s Cover Art

1Sep

By Matt CharnockNo Comments

Culture + Travel, Feature Pieces, Queerness

Meet the San Francisco-Based Muralist Behind _SF’s Cover Art

To solely describe Elliott C Nathan as a muralist doesn’t do his catalog justice. Yes, Nathan’s painted now-iconic outdoor art pieces across a myriad of local landmarks — like the “Loads of Love” mural outside Powerhouse and his sprawling kaleidoscope of colors and characters along the Dore Street-facing wall at 1345 Howard Street — but his creativity knows many media. Nathan’s acrylic jellyfish are as adorable as they are mesmeric. His use of reclaimed wood to build multidimensional compositions is applaudable. How he wields both utilitarianism and flamboyancy to create functional theatre props is a talent few possess (at such scale). Perhaps no one in the city knows their way around a can of spray paint better than Nathan, himself. And the thirty-something artist, too, i...