This Might Be the Smallest ‘Apartment’ Available in San Francisco, Right Now

Put two average-size bathrooms together… and you have the total square footage of this claustrophobic SF home.

Talking about rents in San Francisco is basically water cooler talk. Over the past twelve months, San Francisco rents have had a year-over-year increase of 9.5%; this is a tenth of a percent above the national average, according to Moody’s Analytics; this analysis placed SF in the top ten largest year-over-year rental increases observed in any large metro in the United States.

San Francisco has historically been an expensive city. It, too, has become a metropolitan that oscillates in declarations of demise — “San Francisco is dead,” tech startup founders will rank in tweets about their exoduses from the city.

Those who, say, didn’t chase six-figure salaries to secure their lives in San Francisco know this isn’t true. (The same can be said about New York and, frankly, any like-sized city experiencing such a population shift.) But there’s no denying the fact that rents and mortgages are climbing amid the city’s economic rebound from the pandemic.

The signs are all there — on rental listing sites, for example. And there’s maybe a no more searing symbol of San Francisco’s comeback era than this 90-square-foot apartment that recently was posted on Zillow.

Dystopian listings like these are nothing new; y’all remember that 150-square-foot SF apartment with a wet bath when it went up for rent in 2022. So a recent ad for a 90-square-foot domicile at 1000 Bush Street doesn’t raise our eyebrows too high.

Screenshot via Zillow listing, courtesy of Structure Properties

Nonetheless: It should. It’s just that we’ve become too acclimated to seeing these listings populate on our Zillow search criteria.

With room enough for a twin bed, side table, and small refrigerator, the SRO unit is being rented out through Structure Properties. Dubbed as a “renovated co-living space” — it reads like a spin to justify the high price and lackluster living situation — the Bush Street property houses 82 units, according to Rentable

There’s a communal kitchen glimmering with stainless steel, complete with unit-specific cubbies to keep cooking supplies safely inside. On-site washers and dryers offer some proximal niceties. Access to a vaguely described “living/dining and workstation room” is available — “inquire for more details,” the ad continues.

Screenshot via Zillow listing, courtesy of Structure Properties

Ostensibly, this doesn’t seem all that hellacious… until you take a peek at the cramped corridor the said tenant would have to squeeze their life inside.

Screenshot via Zillow listing, courtesy of Structure Properties

The door opens inches from the foot of the bed. The morning sunlight travels an uncomfortably short distance between the two street-facing windows and the in-room sink. A heating unit stretches along about a third of the room’s far-facing wall. Upon closer examination, it appears there’s also no ceiling light fixture in the room.

Yes, there’s a closet. But it protrudes into the room, swallowing precious living space. Of course, there’s no door to it. Because the swing of it would encircle half the room. If it managed to not strike the bed, first.

The price for the unit? $875 a month. With no utilities included. And no toilet or shower to call your own.

Per the listing, no pets are allowed either. Granted, you’d be hard-pressed to find room for even a betta fish, let alone a mammalian quadruped. But maybe you can ask about spearheading a community aquarium at the yet-described “living/dining” workstation area.

Feature Image: Screenshot via Zillow listing, courtesy of Structure Properties

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